subsistence to sustenance.

journal excerpt: 

it seems like with every rain comes a loss. books ruined, clothes smell of mildew, things to repair. after a year and two months of subsistence i am desperate for the steady comfort of an adequate shelter. the freedom of time to spin, sew, create, paint... without the need to build and fix, build and fix. i want to maintain. move and feed animals, tend the garden. harvest and preserve. i feel myself getting closer and closer to that, and i yearn for it. still, it will be years. years of slow progress witnessed. as the thyme grows, the trees rise, the plaster is smoothed, crops stored for sustenance.