the longest lull

this is by far the longest i have gone without posting here since i started this blog. sorry for the silence. my days and mind have been full, preoccupied, distracted in other directions. i spent the month of october planning a move, packing, and sorting out the logistics of splitting a household. november was spent settling into my parents place in virginia. i'm still settling in, really, and imagine i will finally feel settled around, oh, march or so - just before it's time to leave.

the details of why i moved are personal, and since this blog now posts to other places i don't intend to share details where they aren't warranted. suffice it to say that i have moved, and that it was a sad process that also felt necessary. it was also incredibly hard. i am alone again, in a way that i haven't been in a very long time. ultimately i think this will be a good thing - right now it just feels neutral, indefinable because it's become unfamiliar.

i have made plans to return to ______farms in the spring. i'm really excited about it. i left the land after a short cleanup visit in april not thinking i would return... for a while, if ever (to live). it has been hard for me to let go, and now i'm taking hold again. i visited once more in october to find that the marigolds i had seeded were all abloom, possibly explaining the failure of all my marigold-seeding efforts in kansas.

the october visit was great. i got to see inside the houses of a few folks, which always feels magical and very special to me. i got to walk around with No Ticks to be seen (woohoo!), took some beautiful pictures, enjoyed lovely weather, and savored the company and hugs of many community friends that i had missed. the time i spent in kansas this year was the longest stretch that i've spent away from community in four years, and boy did it feel good to go back, even for a few days. i didn't realize what an impact it had had on me.

so now i have stored things at ________, closed up shop in kansas, and am staying with my mom and stepdad in central virginia for the winter (there is still only a shed out at my ______ homestead, not exactly a winter proof shelter) saving up money, visiting friends, and gathering skills and materials for the coming year. my list of things to do and learn is long, and i'll share that with you soon in case you have any advice to pass along.

in the meantime, take a look at these photos...

click here for the album from the prairie festival in salina, kansas (all plant/landscape pictures)

(will add more later, just a few in there now - including 10/10/10)

so. to strike one more thing off the list, this post is going to count as my 'land/money/building credit' post. while in kansas i was wearing blinders to the reality that i would never end up owning land if i went down that path... not for many, many years anyway. and possibly not even in the way that i wanted when the time finally came. nonetheless, i applied for credit in several different ways so that i could build up a positive credit score (all i have are two student loans, nothing else). so now i have a paypal credit type deal, and another account that is putting me on the path toward having a real, actual credit card that doesn't charge me money just to have it and that will ultimately help my credit rating. will i ever need a good credit rating? who knows. it can't hurt for now to work on it alongside everything else, i figure.

and the search for land... well, it's back to ________. the land was tied in with the need for insane amounts of money and building up credit. i realize that some people actually do pay $100k + for their house/land and pay it off, eventually. most people, i guess. but i can't handle that. i can't handle that time frame, that level of commitment to our cultural institutions of wage slavery and locked up food. i will make the sacrifices that i need to make in order to live on land that belongs to me more quickly, more directly, and more simply. it's not heroic, it's not to prove a point, or to shove anything in anyone's face. it's just how i feel like i have to do it, for me. this is what seems like the best possible path given my desires, personality, and ability. 

i will still migrate to virginia for a few winters in order to save up more money for land and building materials, and since my family is out here (and i Love my family) i imagine i will become somewhat migratory. probably i will, over time, establish a little hobbit hut on the back of my stepfather's property, or become a winter regular at acorn, or become more involved with another local community over the next few years. basically, i don't know how exactly it will work out, or what job i will have after this winter, or if i will be able to support myself on my own crafts, creations, and teaching rather than submitting myself to a corporation. but virginia will still be my home... after this coming growing season it'll just become home away from home.

more on my dreams for _______ later. much love to you and yours, and thanks for your patience as i've rambled.

the 'stuff to post about' list:

-herb harvesting/infusions/use of fresh herbs/tinctures
-making pants/making clothing
-growing herbs in the garden
-growing veggies, garden details
-my work vs. hogwarts
-burn salve
-the view from laundry day
-awesome natural builder blogs
-the search for land/money/building credit
-dental health/sustainable toothcare
-sustainable clothes washing
-sustainable home/dishes/cleaning
-embroidering project (jeans)
-recent crafts - stamps, giraffe puppet, clothespin bag


sinoth said…
happy festivus :)
fullfreezer said…
I haven't stopped in for a while. I'm glad you are well but it sounds like lots of painful upheaval in your life in the past few months.
Hugs to you and best wishes for the new year. If you ever want to stop up to see us in Iowa I'd be glad to show you around.