{Once Upon a Time}

There was a girl who was very, very, Very sick.

She had Felt healthy most of her life, eating as her parents directed.

Then she fell in with... the Hippies. Fresh vegetables assaulted her stomach. Nigh-undigestible fiber Massacred her small intestine. Organic whole wheat products caught her colon by surprise. But she was STUCK! She had to assimilate! The young girl's stomach, seeing that its cries for help, understanding, refined sugar sustenance were going unanswered, slowly began to adjust.

Then the holidays came.

Once again she was whisked away to a new place, her stomach tossed on its head with an unfamiliar diet.


After just two weeks more. Now the norm was brown rice, beans, fresh raw vegetables... what to do, what to do!? The situation was deplorable. The girl's stomach had no where to go, no refined carbohydrates to turn to, no stripped white rice or wheat to take comfort in, no dairy with which to indulge.

Finally, though the girl was trying as hard as she might to wean herself onto these whole foods, her stomach rebelled. Torture upon torture, Week after crawling week, her digestive system in all its harried glory, waged war.

From gas to diarrhea, upset stomach to curious gurglings, mucus unmeasurable to sleepless nights recurring... the girl was at a loss. She tried medicines, she tried herbal remedies. She tried it all! To no avail. She was overcome with a ripping, all-conquering, ferocious Headache.

What will she do next? It's hard to think, hard to move, to exercise or repose.

More next week.


Russell said…
pobrecita. it's like you need emergency twinkies or something to sate your angry tummy. Just don't push yourself too hard. We want our Joan delivered back in one piece!