hibernation vs. the master list

the inside of a thatched dog hut, in progress in my parent's yard

click here to view my photo album for autumn 2010 in virginia

it's winter. winter is for sleeping. right? winter is for eating stored foods, sleeping longer while the days are short, cleaning your tools, mending clothing, and cleaning the house. maybe in... two years, or three or four years, those will be my winter tasks. not this year.

i am still working at the same restaurant i started with in april, although now in virginia. this is the longest i've held a typical, corporate type job in a long time, and it's really hard for me. i've been spoiled on community life, on the ability to live by no alarm clock, work with friends when and how i choose, and have my needs provided for more simply. alright, i'm being dramatic - but it's true. so i'm working a lot, and realizing that summer seems to be my energetic high point of the year. i accomplished a lot this past summer even while i was working full time. i'm having a harder go of it these past six weeks or so. i haven't been taking as many pictures, eating as healthily, there's nothing to grow or nurture or harvest, and it seems like as soon as i am home from work or have a few hours to myself, i simply feel compelled to sleep, watch movies, and sleep some more.

regardless of my baser desires, i've been pushing myself to make lists and keep tabs on my 'master list' of tasks to complete before heading back to the farm in april. let's see how i'm doing...

-i'm 1/3 of the way through the top-side of my first quilt
-i'm in the middle of processing two deer hides - one into buckskin, another into a fur
-i've got a fox 'on ice' waiting to be skinned and tanned into a fur
-i've established contacts with coffee roasters to gather burlap sacks for a shade structure
-i've done research about the handful of things i need to buy before the big move
-i've got a date set to do volunteer work for credit at a local, and awesome, nursery - baby trees!
-i've ordered 275 trees from the dept. of conservation, that'll be delivered in may
-i've read various books on tanning hides, making paper, ink and dye plants, uses of wild plants in the missouri river region, and similar
-i've got a stash of donation seeds from southern exposure and plans to start seedlings in their greenhouse
-i've assessed the model, and found manual and parts for a coleman duel fuel lantern so i can buy replacement bits and get it working
-i'm poised on the brink of a book-making and calendar-making frenzy to prepare for a review of my calendars to be published very soon
-i've made a quill pen out of a peacock feather and have been writing with it now and then
-i have a bunch of flower bulbs to take with me to naturalize out there (So excited about this! daffodils, tulips, irises, and crocus)

that's all i can think of for now. there's a lot more that i'm in-process with or preparing to do in the very near future, and a lot more that i need to do soon besides. the list is so long! but, this is the time for action. each day is a chance for me to manifest the life i've been professing my desire for for years... each day is a chance to prove that i really want it and am willing to do the work to make it happen.

some days that doesn't mean much but sleeping and trying to be well, but i'm doing the best that i can. letting friends know what i'm up to and finding that help can come from many directions is really keeping me going. that, and the impending deadlines of nature - you can't put off spring, or the shifting face of the moon as the nights slip by into new days. i have already been here for Almost three months. in Less than three more months, i will be gone to the farm. i must be as ready as i can be, and do everything in my power to assure that i'm giving myself a solid chance to live well and happily out there. there's no more time to be afraid to give it my all for fear that i won't succeed. no more time for hesitation. and on that rather ridiculously heavy note, i leave you, dear reader, for the night.